Oct ’09 – week 3 – SWINE!

I’ve spent the last week suffering from what is probably Swine Flu, and i emphasise the word Suffering because as everyone knows, most men do not cope with Flu very well.

I’ll be honest, it hit me really hard, and for me to spend 4 days pretty much in bed constantly, is a very unusual thing. But sometimes your body has something to tell you…and if you don’t listen then it SHOUTS it out.

I have been running myself ragged for a long time, trying to carve out a career in music as well as trying to lead the family fitness business…as well as trying to lead the GigAid initiative…as well as trying to have a social life. Somehow I’ve often succeeded and probably patted myself on the back for managing to do so much, but along the way I’ve often felt at breaking point. And so when this nasty flu hit me 5days ago, I decided that perhaps it was time to make some big decisions and radical transformations. Because as someone recently told me, change is fairly ineffective and short lasting…but transformation is significant and powerful. I’m a very hesitant user of cliche motivational words, but I can see that there is truth in it. And i could see so clearly that unless i made a radical transformation in my life, the most likely outcome would be that i’d recover from flu nd gradually return to running myself ragged…until the next time my body decides to SHOUT at me!

So, I decided to stop gigging, and put my musical ambitions aside whilst I take on the challenge of leading Fitness4x4 and the Hour of Power, and going full steam into the new year with the Maximuscle sponsorship I’ve just gained. To those of my friends who are sports and fitness mad, it seems like an obvious choice and an easy one. But to anyone who knows me, music is my great love. Stepping back from music feels remarkably like moving on from someone you love. You just don’t want to do it…and sometimes you really don’t know if you can do it.

But I’ve had to do it in love, and I’m doing it now with music…and the reason I’m doing it is not just because it makes sense now, but i believe it may actually lead to a better chance in the future.

So although i can put a positive spin on it and tell you about the 100 slow squats i did today to overcome the terrible aching and discomfort i’m having through flu…and the power of finding a way to overcome any situation. The truth is (and i reckon blogs should be truthful) that the past few days have been very tough. And when things are too much for me I do retreat inside myself and I do sometimes cry and i do feel despair at my situation sometimes. Not because I live a hard life…just because like everyone else, i sometimes just get really worn out, or lonely or confused about what to do. And this was one of those weeks.

But if i’ve learned one thing, it’s that often my best achievements and progress comes after my lowest points.

So I simply cannot bloody wait for next week!!!

Here is the quote that has been on my mind all week. It’s something a Mongolian Nomad said to a man who walked 6000miles to escape from a Siberian Work camp, and found himself trying to get through a region on the edge of the Himalayas…and struggling to find his way.

“Some of the tracks you must follow will be difficult to find. Don’t look for them at your feet; look ahead into the distance – they show up quite clearly then”

The book it’s from is called ‘The Long Walk’ and it tells a story that is beyond words. But I remember when reading it, this quote stood out to me, and it helps to remember this when the path in front of you seems totally lost.

Posted in Rajko's Blog | 2 Comments

2 Responses to Oct ’09 – week 3 – SWINE!

  1. Allison says:

    I also read ‘The Long Walk’. Loved that book. And I am sad that you are not singing anymore. However, you have always inspired me with your fitness so I am excited to see how that works for you.

  2. laura morris says:

    hay,
    my name is laura morris im 27 and i live in cornwall right at the end of the line.
    I understand how you are feeling and have been in much the same place recently, i have been ill for three years and last week i was finally diagnosed with fibromyalgia, which is basically M.E. but with lots of pain and a multitude of other bizzare symptoms, it has been hard to stay positive when there is nothing the medical industry can do except to give you drugs that make you worse. It made me wonder if i should leave my degree course.
    However i have discovered a dairy free existance may be the answer and am currently willing to cling to any hope provided that one day soon i will have a glorious pain free day.
    So i know what it’s like to feel sad and a bit overwhelmed.
    But i have complete faith it is not in my plan to be ill forever.

    I dont think you have to worry about the music thing, when the time is right it will become your main focus and you will be sucessful and feel more fullfilled. thats just my opinion you will have to let me know if it comes true.
    If you ever feel sad and like you want someone not crazy i promise to talk to i’m the councellor to all my friends and whoever crosses my path if you have the inclination to reply my e-mail is [email protected]

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